Raymond Bardan

Hi Dad. You got me out of so many binds over the years.
The first time you came to my rescue as a young adult was the time I came home on a Friday night with a broken rear door window (someone kicked it in... Long story). You didn't ask me any questions and told me we would get up early and take care of it. Bright and early, we went to the junk yard (Legasi's Junk Yard in Tiverton, RI. You went to school with the owner- Michael Legasi???). You tore apart the door panel on the junk Ford Escort. Within a matter of minutes, you paid $15 and we were on our way home. Being the true heart and soul glass guy you were, you had that new piece of glass in my car in no time at all. I was so impressed and I think to this day, you never asked how I got my glass busted out. I think you probably just thought to yourself (I've been there befor). You didn't get mad at all and didn't ask for any money. You just helped me without any question or second thought and probably could've been doing so much more on Saturday morning. My friends were all shocked I got it fixed so quick. I bragged about you. Thanks again, Dad. For everything!

Hello Pops.  I know Denise missed coming by your house to show you the girls costumes this year.  I know she came by to show mom and you as much as she could.  This year Avery was a dead doll or something similar to that - reminded me of the Bratz collection but they were dead.  Riely was a 60's girl or at least that's what she looked like.  I recall like Richie said, we used pillow cases to collect our candy and we would fill it up pretty nicely.  For the first several years, we bought those cheap costumes and the legs would rip because we ran to fast from house to house that the plastic material could not handle it.  After awhile, you begain making our costumes or paintng our faces.  You would rush home from work and make it happen so we could go out trick or treating.  I remember one year you made one of us a clown, cowboy and indian, dopey from the seven dwarfs and others.   We had a great time when we went out on Halloween.  I know you were nervous about your truck being egged or splattered with shaving cream.  I remember you would park the van on one side of the street and we would walk up and down several streets and when we came around the corner where your van was parked, you would say, I hope my truck is in the same shape I left it.  Most times it was fine but I recall at least one shaving cream innocident or it being egged.  Thanks for the memories pops.  They were a lot of fun.  

Hi Dad. You were a big part of our Halloween when we were all kids. Like everything else, you took something ordinary and made it over the top and special. When most parents would take their kids out in their neighborhood for one small bag of candy, you took us trick or treating in one of the best neighborhoods. All seven of us would pile into your tan Chevy can. We filled 2, sometimes 3 pillow cases with candy. It was a marathon, rushing down all three long streets in Portsmouth. You suggested pillow cases- why use a small bag? You can fit so much more candy in a pillow case. It was like you wanted to give us the best of everything. Mediocre and average wasn't good enough for the Bardans! Its amazing when I think back on it now. We would cover almost one entire room floor with candy when we got back home around 9pm. We'd have candy from Halloween almost all year. There was the year where someone let the air out of one of your tires and jammed something in your valve stem. You got us home safe and sound. None of us feared anything because you were there. You made Halloween such a fantastic memory for us and we will always be proud to tell anyone we meet about how no one has ever gotten more candy during Halloween than the Bardans. You were so brilliant in your simplicity. Not many people would think to use a pillow case, something everyone has lying around. I love you and miss you so much.

The world lost a truly great man…

My first memory of my Dad is when he was hospitalized when he had a heart attack.  I remember getting dismissed from school and being so confused and afraid.  He wrote me a long letter from his hospital bed because he heard I was scared.  In it, he told me he was fine and not to worry because he would be home soon and the doctors were making sure he was okay.  He wrote so tenderly and explained what they were doing to him to make sure he would never have a heart attack again. 

Soon after he was home, I had a nightmare.  I was afraid of the dark so I ran to my Mom and Dad’s room.  I was shocked when it was my Dad that responded to me this time.  He picked me up and brought me into the living room.  He carried me onto the couch with him and we lay down with my head on his chest.  He held me tightly telling me there was nothing to fear in the darkness and rocked me gently saying that he would protect me.  I felt my fear of the scary images I saw in the dark slowly disappear.  He sang “Hush Little Baby” to me as I listened to his heartbeat.  It was the first time I heard the sound of a heart beating and it scared the life out of me to think that my Dad’s heart will stop beating someday. 

I was wrongly diagnosed with a rare disease many, many years later.  I was told that I would need a full liver transplant or I would eventually die.  Before I found out it was a mistake, I told my Dad the terrible news.  He completely lost his composure- a man who never loses his composure unless he meant to do it.  He told me that there was no way one of his children was going to die before him.  He said that he would give me his own liver before he let that happen.  He cursed the world for infecting my liver when he had done much more abuse to his own liver.  “Why not me?”  He questioned, almost hysterically.  Even as an adult, he still felt an immediate and involuntary need to protect me, his family. 

My father was so completely and utterly hopelessly blindingly devoted to his family.  He would have done anything and everything and gone to the absolute fiery ends of the Earth for us and never again will I go to sleep at night without a broken heart, missing him terribly.

Hi Dad. My first memory entry is about open MIC night at Rick's Music World in Raynham, MA. I think you were hooked instantly. A great group of people play music there. Id show up a little late because Caleb has soccer practice Thursday nights. You had me squeeze in between you and Cheryl on
the couch even though there were seats nearby. You seemed to really enjoy the old timers playing old fashioned country music like Hank Williams and Marty Robbins. Some of those old timers were so full of life and fun. They had you laughing. I looked over each time to see that unfamiliar, bright smile and that tiny burst of laughter. No one laughed like you Dad. The last two times we went, there weren't too many acts which saddened me. But you caught an act that I missed two weeks prior. You told me about them the last week we went and luckily they came back. You looked so excited and laughed a lot at their antics. An old old man playing guitar like a banshee and a middle aged woman playing banjo... And boy could they sing! You seemed happy that id get to enjoy their act with you. They played that one song about the auctioneer where they got the crowd singing along at their cues. I sung and I stole a glance and saw you singing too even though I think you may have been too embarrassed to let me know it. But you sang and maybe for those few minutes, you forgot you were sick and all your worries went away. God I hope so if only for that short while. That's why i never missed calling you on a Thursday to see if you were going. Sadly, we only got to go 3 shows after Avery's first time on stage. You were sooo proud of her and couldn't get over her bravery- deciding to sing alone when her singing coach couldn't make it. You said if you seen the guy, you would have punched him. You really enjoyed the guitar duo who did the instrumental songs, the old guy with the glasses with the little reading light for his song book, the man and woman couple and the guitar teacher who was phenomenal. Since the very last show we went to had so few acts, Rick himself and a bunch of the teachers went up and did three songs including Let It Be by The Beatles. From what they said, it was a very rare occasion so i guess we were lucky. Love you so much Dad. Thanks for the memories!